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Grad School: The PhD Edition- Years 2 & 3, So You're a PhD Candidate?

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Me giving my Candidacy Talk in April Ice cream hangout  So, about this PhD I'm doing. The last couple of (school) years have been TRYING! Hence the unintentional hiatus. If you have read any of my previous blog posts about grad school, you probably remember that I have struggled with exams. Well, in the first semester of my second year, I went through a psychological evaluation and received a diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder, which can manifest as performance-based anxiety. With this diagnosis, I was able to get exam accommodations that included extended time on tests and a distraction-reduced environment. It honestly felt good to know that my anxiety was not just something I made up but a real thing I experience. I wish I could say that the accommodations solved all my exam problems (lol), but I still struggled in some cases. I did, however, come across a professor in a course who understood my plight and allowed me to take an oral exam alongside a written one. Her compassion ...
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Mind, Body, and Scale

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Exercise is how I take care of my body. From birth, we are measured by a scale. It wasn't until last year that I realized that when I go to the doctor I could choose to get on the scale with my back facing the display. I started doing this to eliminate the power  the scale has had over me.  Back in 2020 when I went to my primary care doctor, I was told to try to lose ten pounds by my next visit. It was the first time I was told to something like that.  The one thing in my bathroom I avoid using. I didn't realize how much that affected me until recently in a therapy session.  The doctor from 2020 told me to take walks, for a half hour a few days a week, to help lose the weight . So, I did just that. I took walks multiple times a week outside in the middle of the summer in North Carolina. The number on the scale didn't change much over the next few months.  By 2021, I figured I would adjust my diet. I tried plant-based eating for about 3 months, with a seafood or...
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Grad School: The PhD Edition - Year 1

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I'm back y'all. After such a long hiatus, I have pondered long and hard about what to talk about. So much has happened since my last post . I moved across the country (again), loc'd my hair, started the #JourneytoDrJ as a PhD student at Washington University in St. Louis, fell in love. SO MUCH! I decided to tell you about the first year of my #JourneytoDrJ.  Me, joyful, at the beginning of fall semester totally unaware of what chaos would ensue The journey began in August. I was bright-eyed and bushy tailed on the first day of classes and it might've lasted throughout the first week. After I realized that I didn't know anything, I wondered what the hell I signed myself up for. It was not lost on me that I was the only Black woman in my cohort and that my journey would look very different from that of my cohort members. For a while, I pushed that notion aside and hyped myself up because ya girl has a WHOLE master's degree in applied math. But that wasn't enou...
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So You Want to Go to Grad School (AGAIN!)

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Long time no talk! A lot has happened in the last few months. Let's see, where should I start? Well, I recently graduated from THE ILLUSTRIOUS NORTH CAROLINA AGRICULTURAL & TECHNICAL STATE UNIVERSITY with a Master of Science in Applied Mathematics. I've included a few pictures from my special day below.  Can't leave A&T without a pic on the stairs It's giving model   Please know I'm holding up the A&T sign
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Grad School - Failure Reimagined

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I failed my comprehensive exam in October.  For those who don't know what that means, it means that I failed a major requirement needed to graduate. I studied for six weeks for several hours. I reached out to my previous and current professors asking for insight on what topics would be covered to narrow down the focus of my studies. By the 5th week, I was TIRED of studying. At this point, my focus was nonexistent and some professors had finally decided to provide information about the content I would be tested on.  I spent some time in the early weeks researching what other university graduate programs were doing about their comprehensive exams in this global pandemic and came across a handful of schools who had adjusted their curriculum to (hopefully) lighten the academic load of their students. A classmate and I did our best to share this information with the chair of our department, but it went nowhere. When asked about adjusting the curriculum in regards to comprehensive e...
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Grief, Pt. 3 - The loss of a grandparent

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I really do wish grandparents could live forever.  In April 2016 I lost my Papa to cancer. This was just over a year after losing his daughter, my aunt. Now, I'm writing this just a few days after what would have been his 75th birthday.  I remember the day my Granny called me to tell me about his diagnosis and how he was choosing to go without treatment. My heart broke, my eyes watered, my voice cracked but I listened and understood. I don't remember everything my Granny said to me during that phone call, but the jest was that my Papa was going to die soon.  Over the years leading up to his diagnosis, my Papa had experienced several health issues and he was diabetic. He didn't like hospitals very much and I didn't really blame him. I understood why he wanted to enjoy whatever time he had left at home with my Granny. This experience I had with grief is quite different from the previous ones I've written about because unlike the others, I could see it coming. In my mi...
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Happy [Belated] Birthday to the Eternal Butterfly

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*cue Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday * On August 12, 2019, my first blog post went live. After years of doubting myself and my abilities, I finally started this blog. Wow, it's really been a WHOLE year and some change. For years I wanted to start a blog but I doubted my writing abilities and even wondered who would even want to ready anything I wrote. Well here I am a year later, still writing about my life's lessons and blessings, and random experiences that need  to be shared.  I started this blog because I enjoy writing. Writing is one of the very first coping skills I developed as a child. I have many a journals that served as a safe space for my thoughts. Whether it was about my day, something I was dealing with in life, or some knuckle headed boy I was deep in like with, I always turned to writing. *cue Moesha  diary writing music* At some point in my life, writing felt like all I had. For years my writing consisted of feeling alone and being broken-hearted. At some ...
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