The Eternal Butterfly

I really do wish grandparents could live forever.  In April 2016 I lost my Papa to cancer. This was just over a year after losing his daughter, my aunt. Now, I'm writing this just a few days after what would have been his 75th birthday.  I remember the day my Granny called me to tell me about his diagnosis and how he was choosing to go without treatment. My heart broke, my eyes watered, my voice cracked but I listened and understood. I don't remember everything my Granny said to me during that phone call, but the jest was that my Papa was going to die soon.  Over the years leading up to his diagnosis, my Papa had experienced several health issues and he was diabetic. He didn't like hospitals very much and I didn't really blame him. I understood why he wanted to enjoy whatever time he had left at home with my Granny. This experience I had with grief is quite different from the previous ones I've written about because unlike the others, I could see it coming. In my mi...

*cue Stevie Wonder's Happy Birthday * On August 12, 2019, my first blog post went live. After years of doubting myself and my abilities, I finally started this blog. Wow, it's really been a WHOLE year and some change. For years I wanted to start a blog but I doubted my writing abilities and even wondered who would even want to ready anything I wrote. Well here I am a year later, still writing about my life's lessons and blessings, and random experiences that need  to be shared.  I started this blog because I enjoy writing. Writing is one of the very first coping skills I developed as a child. I have many a journals that served as a safe space for my thoughts. Whether it was about my day, something I was dealing with in life, or some knuckle headed boy I was deep in like with, I always turned to writing. *cue Moesha  diary writing music* At some point in my life, writing felt like all I had. For years my writing consisted of feeling alone and being broken-hearted. At some ...

In a post from Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is defined as "a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success." It also says " 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence." Imposter syndrome is something that I have been dealing with this summer (if I'm keeping it 💯I've probably been dealing with it since my higher education career began) during my internship. This was my first ever internship and my first research experience. I didn't have all the courses or even any experience in the topic of my research, but somehow I was still selected for this opportunity. Leading up to it, my anxiety around starting my internship was heightened because instead of working on site, I was now working from home. I had thoughts like the following: What if they don't think I'm smart enough?  What if the...