Grad School - Midterm Check In
Yo, what the heck was I thinking returning to school after being out of school for 4 years??? Also, what was I thinking moving across the country away from every person I know and love with no one to call a friend in my new city?
Man, life is kicking my butt. Let's talk school first. It's an adjustment to return to learning after having been out of school for several years. I think I was aware that it would be challenging, but I didn't expect to still be struggling seven weeks into the semester. I have three classes, two of which are more demanding than the third. But I've been managing, well at least I thought I was. My focus hasn't been where I need it to be. I sit down to do homework or study and can only sit still for fifteen minute chunks. It's a struggle! And don't let the material be something I'm already struggling with, then we can cut that fifteen minutes in half. However, in those rare moments I find my groove for a longer time, I find myself understanding (sometimes) and enjoying the material that I'm learning. But the flip side of that is I often sit down to study not knowing where to start, ESPECIALLY when it's something I'm completely lost on. As midterm season comes and goes, I am faced with tests and projects. Now my professors are giving out take home exams and open source in class exams, which is GREAT! But little did I know, those notes, homework assignments and laptop won't save me or my grades. 😐 It takes me a little longer than it used to when I'm taking tests because my mind will go blank as if I didn't spend plenty hours preparing for this moment or some material got overlooked in the that preparation.
Y'all remember in a previous post, I mentioned that I'm not required to attend one of my classes except for on test days? Well, I have an update. This professor is interesting to say the least. I still attend the class for the most part because I'm already on campus for work and have another class right after it. This particular day, I was working on one of the homework assignments and was having difficulty with one of the problems. Because I had been working on this particular problem all day, I asked the professor to take a look at my code to see if he could tell me why it kept running as an infinite loop. Well, I regret asking for help. He sat down next to me and began to scroll through my code and with almost every line, he says out loud that it's wrong and questions me about why I did it that way. Mind you, my classmates are present and are hearing every comment he says. After enough times of him repeatedly criticizing my work and not offering up any suggestions or solutions, I told him that this was not helpful. I had to say this to him twice because he continued to speak and scroll through my code. I then closed my laptop and walked away and in the process of this he looked at me and laughed...so I won't be asking for help from him any more and I probably won't be going to class anymore.
I have been in school for seven and a half weeks and have only made a connection with one classmate. I didn't expect to be on my own in this course load for this long. I have classmates in the same program as me, but most of my classmates are pursuing engineering. I've reached out a number of times in an effort to create a study group, but nothing has come of it. Well wait, that's not quite true, I created a group chat, emailed them the link to join, and some people even joined! BUT, no one ever replies when I inquire about meeting up to review for the exams. So much for helping one another be successful.
On top of all that I mentioned above, I'm still adjusting to living away from everyone I love. This isn't my first rodeo at this, but it's always been a challenge when I enter a new environment. I've been here since early July and have yet to find my people. I don't care what anyone says, making friends as an adult is one of the hardest thing to accomplish. As an adult, you have all these experience that impact building new relationships. Which is different from when you were a child, because this was new for everyone, you didn't care who or what you made friends with, and you certainly didn't have much, if any, trauma that impacted your interactions your peers. I'm exploring new ways to get out of my room and apartment to interact with other adults in my area by attending church on Sundays, bible study on Wednesday, fitness classes, dating (that's pretty trash too), and possibly volunteering in the near future.
I miss my family and friends a ton. School is kicking my butt. Sleep doesn't make me feel rested. I am overwhelmed with life, but I'm pressing through. I know this journey won't be easy, so I'm learning to give myself grace throughout the process. My friends and family have continued to support me by listening to my rants, emotional breakdowns, and sending me money (shout out to Granny!). I am grateful for my village, who still find a way to hold me down even though they're hours away.
So this is for people who can relate to the woes of this part of adulting. If you resonate with any of this, I'd love to hear about it in the comments below! In the meantime, I hope we can all grow through what we're going through. Be blessed now, ya hear?
Man, life is kicking my butt. Let's talk school first. It's an adjustment to return to learning after having been out of school for several years. I think I was aware that it would be challenging, but I didn't expect to still be struggling seven weeks into the semester. I have three classes, two of which are more demanding than the third. But I've been managing, well at least I thought I was. My focus hasn't been where I need it to be. I sit down to do homework or study and can only sit still for fifteen minute chunks. It's a struggle! And don't let the material be something I'm already struggling with, then we can cut that fifteen minutes in half. However, in those rare moments I find my groove for a longer time, I find myself understanding (sometimes) and enjoying the material that I'm learning. But the flip side of that is I often sit down to study not knowing where to start, ESPECIALLY when it's something I'm completely lost on. As midterm season comes and goes, I am faced with tests and projects. Now my professors are giving out take home exams and open source in class exams, which is GREAT! But little did I know, those notes, homework assignments and laptop won't save me or my grades. 😐 It takes me a little longer than it used to when I'm taking tests because my mind will go blank as if I didn't spend plenty hours preparing for this moment or some material got overlooked in the that preparation.
Y'all remember in a previous post, I mentioned that I'm not required to attend one of my classes except for on test days? Well, I have an update. This professor is interesting to say the least. I still attend the class for the most part because I'm already on campus for work and have another class right after it. This particular day, I was working on one of the homework assignments and was having difficulty with one of the problems. Because I had been working on this particular problem all day, I asked the professor to take a look at my code to see if he could tell me why it kept running as an infinite loop. Well, I regret asking for help. He sat down next to me and began to scroll through my code and with almost every line, he says out loud that it's wrong and questions me about why I did it that way. Mind you, my classmates are present and are hearing every comment he says. After enough times of him repeatedly criticizing my work and not offering up any suggestions or solutions, I told him that this was not helpful. I had to say this to him twice because he continued to speak and scroll through my code. I then closed my laptop and walked away and in the process of this he looked at me and laughed...so I won't be asking for help from him any more and I probably won't be going to class anymore.
I have been in school for seven and a half weeks and have only made a connection with one classmate. I didn't expect to be on my own in this course load for this long. I have classmates in the same program as me, but most of my classmates are pursuing engineering. I've reached out a number of times in an effort to create a study group, but nothing has come of it. Well wait, that's not quite true, I created a group chat, emailed them the link to join, and some people even joined! BUT, no one ever replies when I inquire about meeting up to review for the exams. So much for helping one another be successful.
On top of all that I mentioned above, I'm still adjusting to living away from everyone I love. This isn't my first rodeo at this, but it's always been a challenge when I enter a new environment. I've been here since early July and have yet to find my people. I don't care what anyone says, making friends as an adult is one of the hardest thing to accomplish. As an adult, you have all these experience that impact building new relationships. Which is different from when you were a child, because this was new for everyone, you didn't care who or what you made friends with, and you certainly didn't have much, if any, trauma that impacted your interactions your peers. I'm exploring new ways to get out of my room and apartment to interact with other adults in my area by attending church on Sundays, bible study on Wednesday, fitness classes, dating (that's pretty trash too), and possibly volunteering in the near future.
I miss my family and friends a ton. School is kicking my butt. Sleep doesn't make me feel rested. I am overwhelmed with life, but I'm pressing through. I know this journey won't be easy, so I'm learning to give myself grace throughout the process. My friends and family have continued to support me by listening to my rants, emotional breakdowns, and sending me money (shout out to Granny!). I am grateful for my village, who still find a way to hold me down even though they're hours away.
So this is for people who can relate to the woes of this part of adulting. If you resonate with any of this, I'd love to hear about it in the comments below! In the meantime, I hope we can all grow through what we're going through. Be blessed now, ya hear?
Comments
Post a Comment